Figuring out my Past
by MaePetals
Summary: Axel and Roxas are best friends in the sunny state of California. But when both of their memories start to come back, along with a few others, they discover they might have a stronger connection than friendship... Full description inside, Next Life story.
1. Prologue: Heart

Yes. It's one of THOSE. What I wish to happen in the game at *sniff* Axel's death. I cried so hard my first time watching that. And the second time. Well, pretty much every time. XD So this is just a little one-shot, so I won't write any type of next life story unless people REALLY want me to and I get an idea for one, but highly unlikely. ANYWAY!

**Disclaimer:** Did you see the scene below in KH? NO?!! I don't think you did! *unless of course you can view Mae's Inner Mind Theatre… which I then feel sorry for you…* So you didn't see it, so what makes you think I own Kingdom Hearts? HUH?!! Yeah that's right! Lawl I'm so mean.

**CUTSCENE OF MY MIND…**

"What were you trying to do?" Sora asked, confused and concerned.

Axel smiled softly. Not a smirk- a real smile. "I wanted to see Roxas," Sora seemed to gasp quietly. "He… was the only one I really liked. He made me feel… like I had a heart." Axel chuckled softly and coarsely. "It's funny… you make me feel… the same…" He coughed and took in a shaky breath as he watched his own body fade into oblivion.

"Shut up and don't you dare even _think_ about leaving me, you stupid, corny, limit-using basturd."

Axel gasped, but it caught in his throat. "Roxas?" He choked out.

Roxas' smirk slowly melted into a soft smile, his expression softening lovingly. "You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, right?" Axel smiled at the small blond. He could still see the outline of Sora's build around the comparably smaller teen, but Roxas' body was the most solid for the moment.

Roxas placed his hand on Axel's slowly dissipating chest, wincing at the less-than-solid feel of it. Though his hand couldn't be completely firm, because he was internally battling with Sora for body dominance. "I-I'm so sorry," Roxas whispered, smiling sadly at his lover's beautiful emerald irises. "I'm sorry for betraying the Organization, and for putting you in that position." He held up his hand as Axel began to protest, asking for him to wait until Roxas was finished. " I'm so sorry for forgetting you. I'm sorry, that when I finally remembered, I left you anyway. That was just idiotic. I actually thought it was worth it, being whole. But being whole means nothing if I don't have you with me, and these new, intense emotions made me realize it."

"Roxas, it's okay. I should've--" Roxas put his finger over Axel's lips. He smirked and leaned into Axel, until his lips were level with Axel's ear.

"Shut up," Roxas whispered roughly, causing Axel's dying body to shiver with pleasure. Then, Roxas' lips captured Axel's hungrily.

Several things happened at once in that moment.

Axel, in between stability and oblivion, became here and solid at once, as did Roxas. Sora's body separated from his and flew back into the tunnel, unconscious.

Their original surroundings disappeared, leaving them in a dark area on what looked like a giant stained glass mosaic of Kingdom Hearts. It was no longer the color of the moon, but a bloody crimson, contrasting deeply with the dense blackness surrounding it.

Both felt a surge of emotion, completely new to them. It was nothing like the imitation of feeling that was all Axel knew, or the dull copies of Sora's emotions that Roxas had been able to experience. But there was something else. Something much newer, stranger, and more important than all the other things combined.

Both Axel and Roxas felt the hearts they never thought they had beat in unison.

Roxas gasped and pulled away from Axel quickly, his new emotions whining from the break in contact and his new heart increasing tempo. "Axel! Did you--"

"Yeah," He replied, breathless. "What does it mean?" Fear immediately shot through Roxas as he wondered if he had accidentally stolen his poor naïve somebody's heart.

"Of course not, Roxas," A wise woman's voice sounded through the black as she slowly emerged beside them. "Sora possesses his own heart and is alive and well. Do not worry for him."

"But then-- Wait. How did you--?"

"I am psychic." She answered the unfinished question. "My name is Aerith. I'm only appearing here to prepare you both for all that is to come."

"What do you mean?" Axel sat up, astonished. "Did you heal me?"

"No, that was all Roxas," She smiled softly. Axel turned to Roxas, who shrugged, just as surprised.

"So he-- He's not going to die?" Roxas asked the mysterious brunet.

Aerith laughed. "No, he will be fine." She smiled lovingly at both of us. "You both will find each other quickly in the next life, I bet."

"Next life?" Roxas sputtered out, surprised. "B-but I haven't died!"

"Oh no, Roxas, you misunderstand. This is far from the end. I like to think of it as… a new beginning." She laughed. "The perfect beginning."

"Okay, I'm misunderstanding too." Axel stated bluntly. "So can ya put it in a way where everyone non- psychic can manage?"

Aerith smiled again. She tended to do that a lot. "Alright Axel." Her expression grew serious. "You both are under the impression that you don't have hearts right? Or, at least, you didn't?" Both nodded. "Okay, well that was true… when you were first created. But you always had the hidden potential to _grow them._ This is mostly done through any action of love, friendship, or sacrifice. I've only seen a couple of other men from the organization do this fully, and none but you two had completed your hearts before dying. What happened to the others who had most of their heart, they were sent to the next life, but they will have much more trouble then you two in recalling your past. You both will unfortunately have to lose your memory as well, but it will come back much more easily." The men were gaping at her. "Questions?"

"What is the next life and why do we get it?" Roxas asked. "And why do I have to have these idiotic memory problems again?" He groaned.

Aerith laughed. "I'm sorry, Roxas, it has to happen. In the next life, you'll be reborn as humans. You get to go there because you gained hearts, which allows you a second chance, or rather a first chance, at real life."

Axel's jaw was still dropped. "Who… who were the others?" He asked. "The others who made it?"

Aerith smiled. "I hope you meet up with them… There were only three others from the organization; Demyx, Zexion, and Marluxia. Namine also made it, recently."

Roxas smiled. "That's good. I always suspected Demyx and Zexion. Demyx was the only one who was allowed to call him Zexy." Roxas laughed as he finished. Axel smirked, remembering.

"You all will be put in the same next life, but I can't guarantee meeting up with… anyone." She frowned. "But there's about a 95% chance you two will find each other. And I'm guessing you will."

Roxas frowned at the thought of not being with Axel for any period of time in his new life, but it's not like he'd be picky. Axel smirked and stated simply, "There's no way I'm not finding Roxy."

Roxas punched him lightly on the arm. "Don't call me that!" He hissed. Axel laughed and captured Roxas' pouty lips with his own. Both kissed passionately as Aerith chanted spells around them, sending them to their new life together.

**A/N:** Wow wtf that was shorter than expected. Now I wanna write a next-life story. Damn. I always pile on way too much for myself. Hmmm I shall write a next life story, but I won't start until Larxene is introduced in Just So You Know. That's gonna be a while. Damn. Well still! I have more JSYK motivation! Speaking of, I'm sooorrrry! My laptop was being a bitch so I couldn't write, then I lost my outline book! Le gasp! But I found it. This story was originally written on paper, right after I Axel died uber- romantically. Welp anyway I shall have the next chappy up soon since I'm a little more than halfway through. YAY!!!!!!!!


	2. Ch 1: Memories

I'm Back! Heh heh heh… *maniacal laughter* remember that Next Life story I promised those who read my prologue before it was a prologue? :D Here it is! I'm really excited about this story, even more so than Just So You Know (which you should read if ya haven't checked it out, on my profile) ^.^ The first chapter is finally here. Ready?!

**Description:** Axel and Roxas live next to each other, go to school together, and do nothing without each other. Roxas is just too stupid to figure out how Axel really felt. But when the new kids move in, and the pair start getting strange flashbacks, they'll find a strange bond with a few others in the school, and discover that they might have more of a connection then lifelong friendship…

**Pairings:** AkuRoku main, Namine-Marluxia, Sayner (Gotta love 'em!) Zemyx (well technically Dexion because Demy's the seme, but I like the name Zemyx better.)

**Warnings:** Language, Shonen-ai, YAOI. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. No flames please, though constructive criticism is always accepted.

**Disclaimer:** I do not, in any way, own the following characters from kingdom hearts. *sobs*

_**Chapter One: Memories**_

"_But mo-om! What if they're mean to me?" Roxas whined to his mother. She tsked him and handed him the plate of cookies._

"_Roxas, you'll be fine! I think they have a boy just a year or two older than you, maybe you guys can be friends." She patted the young boy's back comfortingly and shoved him out the door. Roxas gulped nervously and walked three doors down to the people moving in, trying to smile and act friendly. He knocked on the door anxiously and waited as someone came to the door._

"_Why hello there!" A young woman said. She had bright red hair and green eyes that seemed to twinkle. She looked like the mom in the family, so Roxas handed her the cookies._

"_Here go," The blond mumbled. "My mom made 'em for you guys, to welcome you."_

_The woman smiled warmly. "Come in, come in. Would you like to meet my sons? One's almost eight, so he's about your age." Roxas lit up. He smiled widely, liking the idea that he looked "almost eight"._

"_Okay!" He walked into their house, nerves gone. The woman led him to two boys sitting on bunk beds, chatting with each other. They both had the same bright red hair as their mother._

"_Boys," The woman started, "This is our neighbor. He brought you guys cookies." The younger's face lit up with excitement; a new friend and COOKIES?!?! But the older one, who seemed maybe eleven or twelve, was obviously trying not to seem as childish._

_The younger jumped up to Roxas, smirking a childish smirk. "I'm Axel, got it memorized? This is my big brother, Reno." He pointed to the older one. Roxas giggled, thinking Axel was funny and cool._

"_Okay Axel!" Axel smiled down at the blond, just barely taller than him at the moment. His green eyes, just like his mothers, shown with childlike mischief. Roxas grinned back, big blue eyes widening with happiness. "My name's Roxas."_

_Axel blinked, smile widening, and turned to his mom. "Ariel, can Roxas stay for a little bit?"_

_Ariel nodded, smiling at the boys. "You two have fun, I'm going to go prepare dinner. Roxas, do you want to stay?" Roxas nodded, never taking his wide ocean eyes off Axel._

_As soon as Ariel left, Roxas asked, "You get to call your mom by her first name?" Axel smirked and nodded, happy he could impress the younger so easily._

"_Let's play with my toys!" Roxas giggled and followed Axel into the blank room, only slightly unpacked. Axel showed Roxas all his fighting toys, like swords and keys and cool circle things, all made of real metal. "Chak-rams" he explained at Roxas' inquiry to the circles. "My dad, Eric, made all of my toys." He even gave Roxas one of his keys to bring home, called 'keyblades'. Then he showed Roxas a lighter Reno had given to him… Which ended with the bunk bed on fire._

_After the fire department showed up and Roxas' mom came to make sure he was alright, Roxas gave Axel a hug and promised to see him tomorrow._

_Axel smirked, which quickly melted into a happy smile. "We'll see each other every day, 'cause we're best friends now! Right, Roxas?"_

_Roxas giggled and nodded. "Right."_

*****

Roxas woke up, his head hitting the ceiling like always. "Goddammit," He murmured to himself as he gingerly poked the spot where his head was hit. "Stupid attics…" He grabbed a black muscle shirt and his favorite jacket, the white one with the checkered arms and neckline, growling in annoyance. He glowered once more at the stupid ceiling in all its lowness, then darted downstairs.

His beautiful mother, Marianne, was making eggs and bacon. As Roxas made his way toward the table, he smiled warmly at her, and she him, and gobbled up the breakfast now sitting in front of him.

He chewed hurriedly, wondering what the surprise was, as he had all night. He grinned and said, "Thanks mom!" before grabbing his backpack and darting out the door. She just laughed at his rushed actions, smiling happily at her husband, Paul.

"He really has grown up, hasn't he?" She asked. "Fifteen years… amazing."

Paul grunted. "And he's still friends with that Axel fellow." Marianne rolled her eyes easily.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Paul smiled at his wife. "I know, I know. It's great he has such a loyal friend. I just get this vibe from him, like he wants to jump our son. And really, next time he should try not to pick someone with a tendency to burn something any time he's over."

Marianne giggled. "Axel is a handful, but how could Roxas have known that? He was five when they met!"

Paul placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "And we'll support our son's choice. I like that boy, even if he is a pyro."

Speaking of pyros, Roxas was waiting rather impatiently outside of the arrogant redhead's house, grumbling to himself. "He can't just walk away saying 'I've got a surprise for you tomorrow,' and expects me to just wait to know… Who does he think he is…" He pout-glared at the door, waiting for Axel to get a move on for school, and more importantly, to show him the surprise-thing.

No sooner had Roxas thought that than the door burst open and a blur of red tackled him into the lawn, leaving his messenger bag behind. "Roxiieeee!!!" A familiar voice shouted.

Roxas yelled, blushing and pouting as Axel trapped him between his body and the wet grass. "Thanks a lot, Ax. Now my back's all wet."

Axel chuckled and climbed off the smaller boy. "So-rry." He said with fake additude. Roxas rolled his eyes and scrutinized his friend. He was wearing black skinny jeans, sneakers, and a tight red tee-shirt. Roxas smiled softly at how familiar and comforting the colors black and red were to him now, just because his best friend wore them so often. Roxas looked up at Axel's smirking face and his smile faltered. He examined the two small dash-like marks on his face.

"You didn't." Roxas deadpanned, reaching out to touch the marks.

Axel grinned as Roxas' soft fingers made contact with his cheeks. "I did."

Roxas' eyes widened. "D-did it hurt?"

Axel laughed at his doe-eyed, innocent expression. "Like hell. But I'm good now. They look awesome, right?"

Roxas chuckled; incredulous. "I can't believe you just ran off and got _tattoos._" And at the same time he totally could. It was so… Axel. They did look good. They sort of accentuated his already intense emerald eyes. "What did your brother say?"

Axel rolled his eyes at this. "Reno? Didn't care." He smirked. "Well, actually, he thought they were wicked."

Roxas laughed. That seemed like Reno. "Wow."

Axel smirked. "I'm takin' that as a compliment." He picked up Roxas' backpack, and his own. "C'mon shortie!"

Roxas grinned. "Shaddup, beanpole."

Axel laughed again. His laugh was so happy, so carefree… Roxas found himself wrapped up in it. They strolled through the suburbs side-by-side, and Roxas again thought it so lucky that they'd lived so close together. Roxas really didn't know what he would've done if he hadn't met Axel. He'd be a completely different person, probably.

Axel elbowed him gently, making Roxas turn to him, glare pasted on his face.

"You never told me what you think, Rox."

Roxas blinked. "Oh, yeah. Right." He smiled. "They look horrible; I hate 'em."

Axel scowled, then grinned. "Does that translate to, 'Oooh Axel, they're so sexy!'?"

Roxas glared, making Axel laugh. "You wish, bastard."

He smirked. "I do, Roxie. How'd you know?" Roxas rolled his eyes, chuckling.

"Let's just get to school."

Axel threw his arm around Roxas' shoulders casually, shrugging. "Okay!"

*****

As Roxas and Axel approached Arcadia High, the California sun shining, Namine walked up to the pair and smiled. "Hey Roxas, Axel."

Roxas smiled back. "Hey Namine!" Axel just stared at the petite blond. "What's up?"

Namine's eyes closed to happy half-circles. "Nothing really. How was your weekend, Roxas?"

Roxas grinned. "Same as always; hung out with Axel, so shitty."

Axel smirked and pushed the boy playfully. "That's not what you said last ni-ight."

Roxas glared, flushing a faint pink, and pushed Axel back. "Bastard."

Namine giggled at the two friends. "Let's get to class, guys."

Roxas nodded. "Okay, Nami." He tugged on Axel's arm. "C'mon."

Axel stood still. "Hold on a sec, Rox."

Roxas nodded, turning to Namine. "We'll catch up, kay?"

Namine nodded, smiling, and walked through the red-bricked school doors.

Roxas turned to Axel, scowling. "Can't you try to be nice to her, maybe?!"

Axel glared at the doors Namine had disappeared into seconds before. "No."

Roxas sighed. "Why?"

Axel turned to Roxas and growled. "Because she _likes _you! It's so obvious!"

Roxas froze, eyes widening. "No she doesn't! And anyway, what does it matter?"

Axel crossed his arms and frowned, tattoos stretching across his face. "I dunno." He sighed.

Roxas looked at him, incredulous. "C'mon, bastard. Let's get to class." He smiled warmly up at Axel.

As Axel stared at Roxas' beautiful smile, he knew was only for him. It was the most real, sincere smile Axel had ever seen from Roxas, and he was so happy that he'd only ever seen Roxas smile that way for him. His best friend. _Would he ever realize…?_

Roxas walked through the doors, heading to their chem. Class together. "C'mon, Ax!" He grinned playfully.

Axel sighed, then turned to Roxas and smiled. "Alright, alright." He followed Roxas' small blond form to their classroom. _Probably not._

*****

Roxas bit his lip in thought, taking notes from their fast-talking teacher. His notes were always neat and clear, for in middle school he quickly learned that Axel would never take notes. Ever. So in order for him to even pass, Roxas needed to help him study, which required good notes. Axel got held back once in 5th grade, so now they were in only one grade apart, Axel being a senior. He somehow got into Roxas' AP Chem. though, because science seemed to be his strong point. _Dammit, I need to be taking notes, not thinking about Axel._ He refocused on the lesson, ignoring Hayner (on Roxas' left) passing notes to Axel. (On his right)

Whereas… Axel was leaning back on his chair and the desk behind him, feet on his and Roxas' shared desk. The teacher never cared, anyway. He stopped attempting to punish Axel long ago. He smirked as he picked up the note from Hayner.

**Is the back of Rox's head sexy? U've been staring at it long enuf.**

He scowled at the note. _Why could everyone notice besides Roxas?_ He quickly scribbled a reply under Hayner's messy scrawl.

**Jealous, Iku?**

He quickly jotted down the note, smirking about how he used Hayner's hated surname. He crumpled the note and threw it at Hayner's head expertly. Hayner leaned over and picked it up, reading it over quickly. His expression became one of slight anger and he brought his pen down on the paper with a little more force. The note was crumpled and slid over to Axel's desk. He picked it up and uncrumpled it curiously.

**NO WAY, Shiko. I'm not some fag like u.**

Axel growled audibly, ripping up the note and throwing it into the trash can by his desk. Roxas turned his attention to him as Axel snapped all four of the chair's legs onto the ground with a loud crack.

"What'd he say?" Roxas asked, more angry than concerned. The fights between Hayner and Axel, though short and meaningless, were growing more and more frequent as junior year progressed. Axel shook his head.

"It's nothing, he's just a flaming douche-bag is all." Axel snarled, glaring at his friend over Roxas. Hayner seemed surprised that his note affected Axel so much, but opted to sneer back instead of just apologize. Roxas just rolled his eyes at the two, turning his attention back on the teacher. _This is gonna be a long class…_

*****

Roxas slammed his locker, making his two friends jump and break their glaring contest. "What is with you two? God!" Roxas joined the fight, glaring at both of them.

Axel just looked at Hayner. Expectant.

Hayner sighed. "Oh, fine, maybe it's my fault." He admitted begrudgingly, not wanting both of his friends angry with him. "Ax, sorry man. I know you're not one, okay?"

Axel's expression just became angrier. "So what?"

Hayner's eyebrows pulled together, confused.

Axel sighed; a sigh a teacher would give to a student not paying any attention. "So what if I was?"

Roxas was lost. His eyes darted between his rebel best friend and his I'm-too-cool second best, trying to decipher what they were talking about.

Hayner just laughed. "Who are you tryin' to fool, Shiko? I know who you date."

Roxas bit his lip, trying to figure out what they meant. Maybe Hayner called Axel a player? But, well… That was true. Roxas never really liked many of Axel's girlfriends. As of late, none of them seemed to suit him… That couldn't be what they were talking about.

Axel sneered. "I'm not saying I am, I'm saying what does it matter?"

Hayner sighed. "Fine, Axel, I'll play your little game. There's nothing wrong with being a—" He looked toward Roxas, then changed directions. "With being one."

Axel smirked, satisfied. "Good." He smiled at his blond friends. "Now let's go to English!" He said with false enthusiasm.

Roxas pouted. "What the hell were you guys talking about?"

Axel smirked. "None ya, little boy." He laughed at Roxas' put-off expression. "Hey, speaking of, isn't your birthday soon?" He asked, faking stupidity.

Roxas shoved the taller playfully. "Shut up, Ax. I know that you know when my birthday is, so shove it."

Axel laughed. "One year, I really am gonna forget."

"Then you'll be pummeled, grandpa. Forgetting things in your old age?" Axel rolled his eyes.

"Eighteen is only old to you, short-stuff." He said, patting Roxas' hair condescendingly. Roxas pushed his hand away.

Hayner rolled his eyes. "Axel, can you really even blame me for thinking that?" He teased, only half joking.

Axel's face became a carefully constructed mask of happiness. Only Roxas noticed the small change. "Yeah I can, bastard." He teased. Roxas looked up at Axel, concerned and confused.

Hayner chuckled and strolled more quickly down the hallway, saying, "C'mon, let's go guys!"

"What did he _say_ that set you off so bad, Ax?" Roxas whispered, enough so only Axel could hear.

Axel shrugged. "It was nothin'." Axel replied nonchalantly. Roxas shook him head and glared at the older boy, clearly seeing through the façade. Axel sighed. "I'll tell you… eventually, okay? I promise."

Roxas lit up, knowing that if Axel promised, he'd know. "Okay!" He ran off to catch up with Hayner. Sometimes with Axel, he felt like he'd known him for longer than his whole life… if that was possible.

Axel watched the two blondes ahead of him, thinking. About Roxas. What a surprise. It was weird, how attached he was to the younger boy. He really loved Roxas… Just not in a way a best friend should love his male best friend. Not that he was opposed to that. He knew Roxas wasn't either, he wasn't the type. But they were supposed to be just friends, so they were. _That doesn't mean I can't hit on him every once in a while… _Axel smirked. God, he loved to make that boy blush.

*****

Roxas sat on the ground outside, loving the green grass and sunny skies. Hayner joined him, laughing and joking around with Pence and Olette, Namine happily trailing behind. Lunch really was the best time of day.

Namine smiled and took a seat beside Roxas. "Hey, Roxas! How was History?" She asked, referring to the class he and Pence shared before lunch.

Roxas stuck out his tongue. "Bo-ring." The group laughed at his expression. Roxas and his group, with him as the leader, were a very popular group at the school. Probably most popular. With Roxas' big blue eyes and angelic looks, but a more feisty personality inside, all the girls wanted to date him. _Including Namine, apparently…_ Roxas was stuck on the comment Axel had made before school. Why would it bug Axel if Namine liked him? It wouldn't bug Roxas if… He inwardly growled. Okay, yes it would. But that's different… Right?

He was snapped out of his thoughts when a big hand ruffled his hair, and Axel and his flurry of red spikes plopped down beside him. "Hey blondie, blondie, blondie." He said, nodding to Roxas, Namine, and Hayner sitting beside her. Roxas pouted, Hayner scowled, and Namine just giggled. Axel laid his arm over Roxas' shoulders, chuckling and joining the conversation Hayner and Pence were already talking about concerning the upcoming struggle match.

_Why does he always put his arm around me?_ Roxas wondered, blushing slightly. It's not like he hated it. It felt nice, comfortable. Like everything about Axel. Like he'd been with him forever.

Wait a second. _What?_

Been _with_ him? He's not _with _Axel. That was a random thought.

He grinned at Namine, who was also feeling a little out-of-place in the conversation. She grinned back shyly, making Roxas AGAIN think of Axel's comment. Is there ever a time where Axel _wasn't_ on his mind?

Olette was leaning against Pence today, which was weird. Though Roxas had always pegged them as a soon-to-be couple. Maybe they decided to try it out. As Roxas was thinking, his mind flew back, pulling his consciousness away like falling into a deep dream.

_He was standing on a dark beach, beautiful in a more terrifying way. He felt as if he was in a memory, or maybe, a memory of a dream, even. He could barely see, and he realized most of his face was covered by a hood. He tried to order his body to move, to take the hood off, but it felt as if he was trapped. Observing instead of experiencing, in a way. He heard a distant whoosh, and turned to see a black portal appear on the white sand. Roxas was shocked, but his body walked calmly towards it as another cloaked figure emerged._

"_You have arrived." A deep voice said ominously from the cloak._

_Roxas' body nodded as his mind watched, confused._

"_I've been to see him," The man stated. "He looks a lot like you."_

_His body tensed, his eyes narrowing to glare at the other man. "Who are you?" Roxas heard his voice utter._

"_I'm what's left." The man murmured. "Or… Maybe I'm all there ever was…"_

_  
Roxas' body felt confusion and annoyance. "I meant your name."_

"_My name is of no importance," The deep voice dismissed. "What about you?" Roxas' body felt confused and defensive as the question turned to him. "Do you remember your true name?"_

_Did he? The fuzzy memories in this body were hard to sort through. "My true name… is…"_

"Roxas? Roxas!!" Roxas heard Axel cry his name and shake him gently as he slipped back into consciousness. He groaned and glared at the older man.

"Stop shaking me, bastard. I'm fine." Axel cracked a grin, and his friends backed away from him.

Hayner's booming laugh broke the silence. "Roxas, are we that boring? Looks like baby Roxas needs a nap!" He laughed again. Roxas pouted at his friends, rounds of age-jokes being used against him already. Axel was the only one who seemed to pick up that there was more than just lack of sleep there. He looked down at Roxas, concerned, and they both thought:

_What was that?_

_**AN:**_ Didja like? :D I'm so happy with this story. PREASE REVIEW, it gives me hope! Thank youuuuu!


	3. Ch 2: Prejudice

Heh heh, I should prolly get back to JSYK, but I will eventually. I'm having trouble with it. Plus I reaaaalllllyyy like this story sooo… *shrugs* oh well.

**Description:** Axel and Roxas live next to each other, go to school together, and do nothing without each other. Roxas is just too stupid to figure out how Axel really felt. But when the new kids move in, and the pair start getting strange flashbacks, they'll find a strange bond with a few others in the school, and discover that they might have more of a connection then lifelong friendship…

**Pairings:** AkuRoku main, Namine-Marluxia, Sayner (Gotta love 'em!) Zemyx (well technically Dexion because Demy's the seme, but I like the name Zemyx better.)

**Warnings:** Language, Shonen-ai, non-emo!Roxas, YAOI. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. No flames please, though constructive criticism is always accepted.

**Disclaimer:** Screw you all, I DO own Kingdom Hearts!!! *steals Walt Disney's frozen head and runs* -trips over lawyers- Shit. maybe I don't, okay?!

_**Chapter Two: Prejudice**_

Axel frowned, waiting for Namine to just leave already. He was sick and tired of standing in the cold outside his school, even though they'd gotten out over ten minutes ago. But she just continued to giggle and flip her stupid blond hair and shamelessly _flirt_ with Roxas. He just stood beside his best friend, glaring down the petite girl. Roxas simply smiled and went on conversing with her. God.

Axel got fed up and elbowed Roxas. "C'mon, Rox. We gotta head out." He practically snarled.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Bye Nami. See you tomorrow." He waved and turned to Axel, deep blue eyes flaming with anger. "What's your problem?!" He whispered, voice harsh.

Axel smiled sheepishly and shrugged, ruffling his blood red hair. "I wanted to talk to you… about your little episode at lunch." Roxas frowned, about to protest, but Axel continued. "That was weird, Rox. Had me worried there. What really happened?" His voice softened into a concerned tone, which Roxas knew meant business. Axel was rarely that serious.

Roxas stopped to think for a second. He felt something strange then. There was this strong feeling bubbling inside him, urging him to tell Axel, though he probably would just think Roxas was crazy. It wasn't a gut feeling, or an instinct. It was more like a reflex. As subconscious as breathing. He barely thought twice after that, just letting his mouth do the work. (^.^)

"Well… I sort of had a dream. Only, not a dream. It was like…" Roxas started walking again, struggling to explain as Axel followed closely beside him. "It was so… familiar. Almost like a memory. Like, a memory of a dream, maybe. Only, I didn't remember the dream when I woke up, so it's sort of the first time I saw it." He laughed, breaking the tense aura. "That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?"

Axel chuckled, keeping up Roxas' pace while smiling down at him. "Kinda. But I'll take your word for it."

Roxas returned the smile, looking into the long ago memorized emerald eyes of his best friend. "Yeah, the guy I was talking to kept speaking in weird, ominous riddles. It was creepy. But wanna know the weirdest part?"

Axel nodded. "Sure."

Roxas chuckled, smiling softly. "We, me and the man, were both wearing these black cloaks. They had chains and zippers on them, and they looked made of leather. Strange, huh? Axel?"

Axel had stopped walking.

Roxas turned back to him. "C'mon, Ax! We gotta get home!"

_Black cloaks… I've dreamt about those…_ Axel shrugged, confused, and shook off the coincidence. He smirked and quickly caught up with Roxas, headlocking him. Roxas yelled and struggled against Axel's skinny, but strong, arms, and both forgot about the strange occurrence. They would not find how it connected them today.

*****

"Hey mom, I'm home!" Roxas yelled upon entering the house. He strolled through the front room and the kitchen, seeing no signs of life. "… Mom?" He yelled again, hesitant. He heard and saw the TV on in the next room and peered inside.

Both of his parent's eyes were trained on the television's news, watching the figures move with anger frozen on both of their faces. His mother's was the most frightening, her soft, beautiful features twisted in a disgusted grimace and big blue eyes dark and narrow.

"How disgusting." His mother's voice spat. It didn't sound like her usual, peaceful tone at all. Her voice usually struck a resemblance with quiet chimes to him, but now her words, however concise, cut the air like a rusty knife.

His father sneered. "How dare people vote for that, in this state. I swear, California's just goin' down the tubes. Bein' overrun, that's it. Taken over by a buncha queers. What a sick, perverse idea." He glared at the TV, as if it were responsible for this new law. The word queer sounded like the most horrible name to be called, in Roxas' ears. His father's dark voice made it sound like the death penalty. Like he was saying murderers.

"What happened?" Roxas asked, feeling a bit of irrational fear. What did he have to fear from his own parents?

His mother whipped around, standing up upon seeing her son. Her expression changed completely, and Roxas relaxed as he saw his mother's friendly smile. "Oh, some idiots somehow gathered enough votes to legalize homosexual marriage." She made a sickened face, not fully reverting to the mask of hate from before but getting pretty close. Roxas, however, only felt confused.

Roxas feared the anger and malice in his parent's eyes. He'd always known they didn't like gay people, but this? It seemed to transform them into different people. Like hate always does. Where were his loving, sweet parents?

He nodded at his mother, not wanting to see his parent's faces contorted like that anymore. He took the stairs up to his room two at a time, closing the door softly and collapsing on his black and white checkered bedsheets. As his face was buried in his pillows, he thought and thought, but he couldn't find the answer to his question. _Why should it matter who people love?_

*****

"Hey, bro." Axel slammed the front door and jumped over the back of the couch, settling next to his older brother and grabbing a beer from in front of him and frowning when he found the bottle empty.

Reno smiled goofily at the younger redhead, bottle in hand. "Hey, Axel." He slurred, more from the way he spoke than the alcohol. "How are ya?"

Axel shrugged. "Fine, I guess. School's a bitch. You?"

Reno grinned. "Fi-ine. I love not-college."

Axel rolled his eyes. "As much as I like beer, you need to stop coming home with so much of it. Your job pays, but it's gonna be a waste if we don't have any food."

Reno elbowed the younger man. "Shaddup, Axel. Didja woo our cute little neighbor yet?"

Axel punched Reno's shoulder. "Shut it, dude."

Reno chuckled. "What, afraid he'll hear us and know about your little crush? That kid's THICK. I wouldn't believe he was that clueless if I hadn't known him for so long."

"Roxas isn't thick, I'm just a great actor." Axel smirked cockily.

"Not that great, man. What happens when he finds out?"

"He won't." Axel stated calmly.

*****

_Axel smirked, waltzing into the room like he owned everything in it. And, in a way, he did. His smirk was hollow, though, bitterness flooding his expression. He was hurt, Roxas could immediately tell. But why? Roxas fought the urge to comfort his friend, it's not like he could act upon it anyway. His body had trapped him again. Axel was wearing the same strange black cloak from before, but Roxas was dressed in what seemed like normal clothes. His body was regarding Axel's presence defensively, as if one of an enemy. What was really strange, though, was that his mind kept trying to retrieve something. A memory?_

"_Simply amazing, Roxas," Axel stated without throwing so much as a glance toward the shorter boy. Roxas stiffened, and memories from his body seemed to flood back at the sound of the rough, yet silky smooth, voice._

"_Axel." Roxas' body said. He seemed to try not to put too much emotion in it, for he knew it was all fake. _With that thought, unconscious Roxas began to panic. What did it mean, fake? How could emotions be fake? _His body remembered all the times they sat on the tower, an alien and scary thought to Roxas but a warm comfort to his body, his… memories?_

_Axel slowly came to a stop opposite Roxas. "You really do remember me this time?" He said, nonchalant yet still slightly pained. Both Roxas and his body could hear it, and both felt remorse, as if somehow they were connected. Axel turned sharply, anguish clear in his eyes and hollow smile. He sneered and yelled, "I'm so FLATTERED!"_

_Roxas jumped, both his mind and body alarmed by the ring of fire surrounding them, popping up as Axel smirked. Roxas' body registered somewhere that he was manipulating it, as if that were possible._

_Axel threw out his hand in anger, finally frowning and breaking his little façade. "But you're too late!"_

_Roxas crouched defensively and seemed to summon some kind of swords in his hands. Keyblades… That's what they looked like. They bore a very striking resemblance to the weapons Roxas had used as a child. Axel even summoned Chakrams, though they were actually on fire. Nothing about this battle was a game, he realized, as Axel lunged at him, malice and pain in his emerald eyes._

Both Axel and Roxas jolted awake, at exactly 3:18 AM, lying in very different beds but anxious for just the same reason. They were both covered in a thin layer of sweat, horrified at what they'd both just witnessed. They both pushed out of their beds in sync, though having no way of knowing it. They both walked down very different stairs into very different kitchens. They grabbed very different glasses and filled them with cool water, both thinking of the exact same, very real dream.

*****

Roxas stood by Axel nervously, waiting as patiently as he could to tell the older man about his dream. He really wanted to tell someone, it had really shaken Roxas. Axel was talking with one of his senior friends, his name maybe Karu? Roxas couldn't remember. Roxas tried to jump into the animated conversation, but couldn't find a place to insert himself, so he sighed and pouted irritably. After realizing that Axel wasn't going to stop talking anytime soon, Roxas wandered away from his side.

He caught another, older man's eyes and smiled politely, seeing the man staring at him. He had dark brown hair and dull, almost black eyes. He seemed miles taller than Roxas and at least twice as wide, but in a built way. As Roxas smiled, the man's face formed a grimace and he glared at Roxas with hate in his eyes. _What is with him?_

Roxas furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head in confusion. The man walked over and continued to glare at the smaller blonde. Roxas decided to glare back, folding his arms across his chest. "What's your problem, dude?" He asked.

The older brunette cornered Roxas, face contorting into pure animosity. "Stupid little queer. I'll straighten you out." Roxas' eyes widened and he backed up, only reaching the wall. The man seemed intent on hurting him.

"W-what?" Roxas stuttered, stalling. "But, I'm not--"

Axel's bitter laugh made both turn. Roxas' face collapsed into relief, even though the laugh could've made a normal grown man wet himself. There were few creepier sounds to be heard in the world.

Axel sauntered over to the two, grabbing the older's arm to restrict him. "Cooper, Cooper, Cooper… Do you really wanna do that?"

Cooper glared at Axel, who was just slightly taller but not near as built. Axel's eyes were made of stone in that moment, as if they'd been replaced with actual emeralds. The bitter, creepy smile reminded Roxas somewhat of his dream, but behind it was only rage.

The brunette spoke again. "Shaddup. You're worse than him, faggot."

Axel growled quietly, then resumed the hollow grin. "Coop, just do us all a favor and stay the fuck away from Roxas, mmkay? Or I'll chop your inch long dick off and feed it to you through your ear." His grin only got wider, which just served to frighten Cooper. Roxas smiled, trying not to laugh at how perfectly Axel had delivered the threat. He got some kind of fuzzy warmth in his stomach whenever he thought about how Axel was defending him.

The bell rang, giving Cooper a good excuse to run away. Axel laughed and hugged Roxas. Roxas blushed and hugged back.

Axel pulled back and looked at Roxas, a serious look on his face. "Rox, I want you to stay away from that guy. He's trouble, and a shrimp like you could never defend yourself against him." Roxas glared at Axel stubbornly.

"Oh come on. He doesn't seem too tough. Didja see the way he ran away from you as soon as you pulled out your badass voice?"

Axel grinned. "Awwwh, Roxie thinks I'm badass. I'm so flattered." Even though it was said in a completely different tone, Roxas couldn't help shivering at the last few words. "But really. Stay away from that dude."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Fine. Let's just get to class, okay mom?"

Axel chuckled. "Okay baby brother." Roxas glared and punched Axel's shoulder playfully, and they both laughed on the way to class.

*****

Roxas actually liked English. It was the only class he enjoyed without Axel. He still wished Axel was in his class, but he could enjoy it without him, which was always a plus. The door opened and his teacher stopped talking, making Roxas stop responding to the prompt and glance towards the door. The three standing in the doorway made his gaze linger.

One of them was your average teacher, long black hair tied in a bun and half cylinder glasses resting too low on her nose. She didn't even address the teacher, eyes fixed on the clipboard in her hands . "I have two new students for you, Mrs. Kaile."

The other two, however, were a sight. He hadn't seen such strange hair since… well… Axel. One had hair that was somewhere between purple, blue, and gray. His hair was short, except for a section in front that completely covered his right eye. It dipped down over his face in a gothic, yet slightly attractive, way. His eyes were a stoney purple, and he had a serious expression painted on his face. He was almost as short as Roxas, and he had a big book in his hand. He was wearing all black, with baggy-chained pants and a jet black t-shirt.

The other was tall and wearing a goofy grin, aquamarine eyes shining with playfulness. His dirty blonde hair was some kind of mutated breed between a Mohawk and a mullet. A couple of stray strands fell in his face, and though he had a tall built form, he was easily more of a kid than the other would ever be. He couldn't even stand still. He was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a light blue shirt that read, "If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you just suck". Roxas smiled. The new kids might be interesting.

Mrs. Kaile frowned and motioned the students inside as the teacher left. "Okay, which of you is Demyx and which is--"

The taller, mullethawk boy jumped up and said, "Me!" Interupting the teacher. The class laughed and Mrs. Kaile gave him a stern look. "Okay, Demyx. Take a seat by Roxas. He's the blonde over there with spikes. He'll be your tour guide, because you seem to have most of your classes with him or Axel, who I'm sure Roxas can ask to show you around." Demyx nodded and happily took a seat by the younger boy.

"Zexion, go ahead and sit in front of Demyx. Roxas, actually, can you show Zexion around as well?" Roxas nodded. "Good. As requested, Zexion, you and Demyx have the same classes. I hope you can handle it, and have a nice time here at Arcadia High." Mrs. Kaile resumed teaching for about three seconds before Demyx raised his hand, making her sigh. "Yes?"

Demyx laughed and scratched the back of his head. "Um… Mrs..?"

"Kaile."

"Yeah, Mrs. Kaile. Can Roxas here give me a tour to the bathroom?"

The class chuckled, including Roxas, and the teacher frowned. "Fine."

Roxas stood up and smiled up at the already standing Demyx. "Let's go."

Roxas led the taller man out of the classroom and down the hallway. "Hey."

Demyx smiled at the younger. "Hey, you."

Roxas smiled, glad the kid was friendly. "Where'd you move from?"

"A galaxy far, far away, kid. Massachusetts. ugh, hated it. But I live with Zexy now, so it's all good." He grinned.

Roxas laughed. "Zexy, as in Zexion? Wouldn't have pegged you guys as friends at first glance, but opposites attract, I guess."

Demyx chuckled. "You have no idea, kid."

Roxas frowned. "I'm a junior you know. As in, not a kid?"

Demyx ruffled Roxas' hair. "Sure, sure. You're still shorter than Zexy, so…" He trailed off with a smile. Did he ever not smile? Roxas stopped in front of the restroom doors. "Here we are."

Demyx smiled again. "Thanks." He walked in. Roxas waited about five seconds, got bored, and followed.

"And hello again," Demyx chuckled while standing in front of a urinal. Roxas turned away politely.

"Um… I kinda wanna ask you something. Just curious, but you don't have to answer if it's personal, okay?" Roxas started, wanting to know but not wanting to be rude.

"Shoot, shortie."

Roxas rolled his eyes, then cleared his throat. "Uh, you mentioned living with Zexion, and I was sorta wondering… Are you and him, you know… together?"

Demyx paused for a second, then turned and approached the sink, sighing as he ran the faucet. "I wish, kid. I wish."

Roxas frowned. "Why not?"

Demyx smiled. "Never told the little emo. But apparently I'm not so fantastic at hiding it, seeing as you picked it up in like two seconds." He laughed.

Roxas chuckled with him. "Nah, it was just a lucky guess."

Demyx finished washing his hands and turned to Roxas. "Well, you're handling it way better than my last school. Once I got a boyfriend there…" He trailed off again, this time more ominously.

Roxas frowned again. "Sorry dude. Not to disappoint you or anything, but there are plenty of homophobes here, too." Roxas' mind flashed to Cooper and his little gang of haters Axel had informed him of, Alec and Jason. There was also another threesome of senior bullies, Seifer, Fuu, and Rai, who were known to dislike gay people.

Demyx clenched his teeth in frustration, then relaxed and smiled again. "Well, I guess everyone can't be like you, buddy. Speaking of, are you…?" His voice took on a suggestive tone that made Roxas flush.

"No, but I think prejudices are just stupid. What idiot hates on you because you're gay?"

A sharp, deep laugh broke the relaxed feel from behind Roxas, making him jump. The laugh contained mirth, but it was sort of sick and sadistic, twisted until pain is pleasure. Roxas turned slowly, shaking. He saw eyes made of coal, so dark that they couldn't possibly have good intentions. Roxas trembled as he looked up at Cooper, who had somehow entered without either boy noticing.

"Sorry to break the news to ya, faggots, but a lot of people."

**AN:** I know what you're all thinking. Namine is such a whore. Lol jkjk. I like her, just not with my Roxie. :D

**Roxas: **Yours? Didn't we already discuss this?

**Mae:** *sniffle* Shaddup! I can pretend!

Like it? Maybe? Please review, it's like candy to me! Which, btw, I will not be eating over Lint (sp?). Really, even if it's like 2 words, as long as those two words aren't: You suck or: Go die. That would make me cry… then no story for u! :D Love ya!

~MaePetals~


	4. Ch 3: Dreams or Flashbacks?

**I KNOW. **I'm so so so so sorry, I suck at updating. I'm on a different computer now, I lost all my documents on my old laptop *sobs* why do all my laptops hate me?!! Just So You Know… Oh god. The chapter was DONE. AND AND AND I had almost half of the next one! It's gonna take a while to recover it, and I'm already like a month and a half late. I'm sooo sorry, really.

EDIT: I actually finished the JSYK chappy! Go visit!!! :D

**Description:** Axel and Roxas live next to each other, go to school together, and do nothing without each other. Roxas is just too stupid to figure out how Axel really felt. But when the new kids move in, and the pair start getting strange flashbacks, they'll find a strange bond with a few others in the school, and discover that they might have more of a connection then lifelong friendship…

**Pairings:** AkuRoku main, Namine-Marluxia, Sayner (Gotta love 'em!) Zemyx (well technically Dexion because Demy's the seme, but I like the name Zemyx better.)

**Warnings:** Language, Shonen-ai, non-emo!Roxas, YAOI. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. No flames please, though constructive criticism is always accepted.

**Disclaimer:** *sobs* can I at least own a few characters? -lawyers shake heads- …… I'll settle for Disney Land! … Awwwh come on, maybe just a coupla rides? Please??!

Ooh ooh ooh, guess what? Demy's shirt, "If at first you don't succeed maybe you just suck" is actually one of my best friend's shirts ^^ just fyi lol on with the story!!!! -pulls out sword and points heroically-

_**Chapter 4: Dreams or Flashbacks?**_

Roxas heard Demyx scream and the sick crack of Cooper's knuckles against his cheek, but not before he felt the blow. Nothing was slow motion or in perfect clarity like those movies, everything was so fast he could barely comprehend what had happened as he slammed against the door of the stall. Everything was fire and pain, nothing was clear. His head spun as he blinked, crying out in shock at the blow. Tears sprung to his eyes, but he saw a blur of light blue approach a built, masculine figure.

Demyx flew back as well.

Roxas yelled, trying to see past an open stall to find if Demyx was okay. He heard a thud, but no cracks or snaps, the telltale signs of significant damage. Demyx was safe, for now. But, Roxas thought as his gaze returned to Cooper, he was far from safe.

A kick to the chest.

A stomp on his head. Fuzzy, black going in and out. Unable to form coherent thoughts.

Demyx cried out.

An enraged growl.

Cooper's knees fell into Roxas' back, he groaned and collapsed.

The weight disappeared in a flash. Roxas, bleeding on the ground, tried to force his eyes open. He couldn't comprehend the stop of pain. His eyes were blocked with blood, matting his hair and gushing from cuts on his forehead and his crown. Black spottiness blinked in and out of his vision, similar to when you're exhausted or have a head rush. Despite all of it, Roxas caught, at the edge of his vision, a blurry angry mass of red. He might've saw the green, catlike eyes, but that could've easily been his imagination filling in what he knew was there.

"A-axel…" Roxas lost consciousness.

*****

Good thing Demyx was there to stop him, because Axel was going to kill Cooper. There was absolutely no doubt or even sensible thinking in his mind when he heard Roxas yell from outside the bathroom. Even as Cooper lay there broken, bloody, and most likely with a concussion, Axel growled and struggled as Demyx tackled him to hold him down.

"Stop it!" He yelled while trying to pin the aggressive redhead he'd met in a previous class. "You've already done enough; you don't have to kill him!"

Axel snarled. "Lemme go!"

"Not until you calm down!"

Axel sighed and let the red haze escape from his eyes. His thoughts became more rational. "Dude, get the fuck off of me. I need to see if Rox is okay."

Demyx hesitated, then rolled off of Axel. The taller man immediately rushed to the bloody blond slouching against the stall door. He checked his breathing, then tried to find the sources of all the blood. Thankfully, Axel thought as he tore off Roxas' shirt, he only had cuts to the forehead and cheek, and although deep, they weren't serious. The bruising all over his body seemed much more troublesome. Axel ripped Roxas' shirt and wrapped it around his head, putting pressure on the bleeding areas in hopes that Roxas wouldn't lose any more blood.

Demyx just looked on, looking at the joke-y man he'd only recently met become serious and concerning, passion as plain as fire in his eyes. He smiled as he felt unconsciousness sweep him. _I guess he still loves that boy…_

Axel heard a thud, whipping around to see Demyx hit the ground with a weirdly peaceful look in his eyes. Axel gritted his teeth. "Shit!"

His eyes darted from Roxas to Demyx, not sure what to do, when a wave of exhaustion hit him also. He panicked slightly, but sleep overpowered him easily.

*****

_They were in black, in white. And everyone was staring at Roxas. His body felt absolutely nothing. The complete devoid of emotion Roxas was experiencing made his inner self panic. Then he saw Axel._

_Axel was there, beside him, presenting him within the room of white. Demyx and Zexion were there to, both dressed in black cloaks. Roxas quickly counted twelve others, including Axel. They were all staring at him, and although his body felt nothing, his consciousness was reminded of a sort of "new kid" feeling. He heard voices, but they zoomed past his ears. They didn't matter to him. Nothing did._

"_Number thirteen," a voice said, the same voice from the first dream he'd had, but this time the hood was off. It came from a tan man with white-gray hair and piecing yellow eyes, deep and booming. "The key of destiny… Roxas."_

_The world slowly faded away, until they were in some different setting completely. His clothes still haven't changed, Roxas realized, it was still the same black cloak. But now, he was sitting. Holding ice cream in his hands. Nervous. Waiting._

"_You're early." Roxas, both his body and mind, would know that voice from anywhere. His head darted to… What looked like a clock tower? And Axel had just turned the corner to join him. Such a familiar, safe custom for his body. He turned back to a beautiful sunset, one that he'd never seen yet seen a million times._

"_No, you're just late." Roxas' body replied. Axel circled around behind him and took his place sitting on the ledge right beside Roxas. Roxas smiled up at him, taking a bite of his ice cream for the first time. Axel smiled back, still smirking, but more… loving._

_They sat in silence until Roxas' body realized something. "Today makes 255." His mind was incredibly confused. And so was Axel apparently._

"_What's that about?" He asked, and Roxas turned to him and smiled softly._

"_It's been that many days since I first joined the Organization." Roxas muttered. His body was so happy he did, too. Mock-happy. A figment of happy, the only way he could describe how Axel made him feel. Roxas' mind caught up with the bodies memories. _The Organization… The reason we all wear these cloaks._ He thought. "Man, time flies."_

_Axel pulled the ice cream stick out of his mouth and smirked. "So, you got the number memorized, do ya?" For some reason, Roxas' body felt the need to groan. Roxas' mind was shocked that Axel's famous catchphrase had transferred into these weird dreams._

"_Yeah," Roxas lapsed back into seriousness. He looked down at his half-eaten ice cream. "Have to hang on to something, right?" Roxas' body sighed, feeling sad. "It's not like I have any memories from before the Organization. Don't you remember? I acted like a zombie."_

_Axel's hand landed on his shoulder and Roxas turned, immediately comforted. "Right, that first week you could barely form a sentence." Axel looked sort of somber for a moment, but as Roxas brought his ice cream to his mouth Axel patted him on the back, hard. He almost got ice cream in his face, but Axel's antics made both Roxas' smile. "But c'mon! You're still kind of a zombie!" He patted Roxas' shoulder, and Roxas fought back a grin as he brushed the hand off._

"_Oh, thanks!"Once Axel started to laugh, Roxas joined in. Axel was just that kind of person. His body felt a flood of warmth toward Axel that he couldn't really identify, but his mind knew. It froze, barely able to keep watching._

"_Hey, Roxas." Axel said, regaining both Roxas' attention once again. "Betcha don't know why the sun sets red." Roxas looked out at the sunset curiously, as if it held the answer. He'd never really thought about it. "You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest." He finished smugly, as if his hair was about to complete a marathon._

_Roxas smiled and shoved Axel gently, playfully. "Like I asked! Know-it-all."They both laughed for a while, and finished their ice cream in comfortable silence. Axel leaned back and landed on the ground so he was staring up at the now-dark sky, and Roxas was looking down at Axel. The warmth was back, and his body still couldn't tell what it was. His mind was still in shock. _

_Love…_

*****

They woke up at the exact same time, which really creeped out Demyx and Zexion, but it wasn't exactly unexpected. Roxas looked at Axel immediately, who was laying in a bed right beside him. He didn't look at all injured. Roxas sighed in relief, then bit his lip as a new panic surfaced. How was he supposed to face Axel after that dream?!

Demyx laid his hand on Roxas' chest and gently pushed him back down on the nurse's beds. "Rest. You don't have a concussion or any serious injuries, but that doesn't mean you're not hurt." Demyx darted his eyes around, then added, "Me and Zexy will explain the dreams in a minute, I don't feel like having the school nurse report us all for insanity. Unless, of course, you guys have already figured it out?"

Roxas' eyes widened and he shook his head.

Demyx nodded. "I thought so, since you said you were…" _Straight._ His eyes darted to the door again. "I guess we can try explaining a little now, since no one's checking on you…"

"You know? Why are they happening? What's wrong with me?!"

Zexion shushed him. "Be quiet. I'm sure it's some sort of comfort, at least, to know you both aren't alone?"

Roxas looked at Axel with questioning eyes. "You've been having them too? Why didn't you tell me?"

Axel looked confused. "Where you feel trapped in your body? Yeah, I have 'em occasionally. Since, like freshman year. But they weren't anything that really mattered until…" _Last night. _He shook the thought. "Anyway, I didn't know you had them, so why would I?"

Roxas thought, then shrugged. "Good point."

Demyx laughed quietly.

Zexion smiled a little bit, just a small upturn of the lips, then shushed Demyx. "As far as we've figured, you only drag others into them if you're close enough. Maybe half a mile. That's why I'm here." He stated, deadpan. "I passed out in the middle of class. So we've seen you two in our dreams, but you haven't actually been IN them until we were close enough. So, now."

Demyx nodded. "And you only get dragged in if your body is already in, which doesn't make sense but… It's like if you're present in the memory you have a chance of--"

"Memory?!" Roxas interrupted. "That's impossible. My dreams couldn't have happened. And why wouldn't I remember? I think I'd at least remember a big missing part of my life when all this 'supposedly' happened."

Demyx shrugged. "That's how we found each other, by being present in the same dream. And as far as we've figured they're memories, because little bits and pieces come back when we're conscious sometimes, too."

Axel furrowed his small eyebrows. "That… still makes no sense. I resubmit Roxas' questions."

Zexion sighed. "The only thing that seems to fit completely is reincarnation, and that still doesn't explain the crazy magic and creatures in the dreams."

"Wait…" Roxas swallowed nervously. "Does that mean… since we were all together for the first dream… That me and Axel were both there for the second one?"

"So you did have a second dream." Demyx stated the obvious, grinning. "That makes sense. You guys were always really close in the dreams I've had that you've appeared in."

Zexion whispered something to Demyx, and Demyx shook his head, while laughing and blushing. "No, no, wait 'til they get there." He grinned and even Zexion blushed a little.

Roxas was beyond confused.

Axel cleared his throat. "Something you guys would like to share?"

Demyx giggled girlishly, then shook his head.

"Uh-huh." Axel replied. "So Roxas, you were on the clock-tower thing, right?"

Roxas nodded, blushing. _It wasn't you that loved him, it was your body. Stay calm._

Thankfully for Roxas, the nurse walked in at that moment. She squealed and motioned everyone back to their beds, hoping to get them to rest, but Roxas simply asked her what happened after he passed out.

"I came and beat the living shit outta Cooper." Axel growled, still somewhat smug. The nurse frowned disapprovingly.

"And you have a referral for it, Axel. If you hadn't been defending Roxas, it'd be full-on suspension, like Cooper." Axel still smirked, and the nurse continued. "Then, I gather Axel passed out, and Demyx came and got me. I was taking care of Zexion at the time, but I got a couple of aids and we carried you, Axel, and Cooper to the nurse's office, here. Then Demyx told me about the fight, and Cooper woke up. He has a slight concussion and a broken arm." Roxas nodded, not feeling the least bit sorry for what Axel did to him.

"Hey, Mrs. Nurse?" Axel asked. Roxas bit back a chuckle at his whiney voice and little nickname. "Can I go now? I didn't get hurt, and if it's okay, I wanna take Roxas and Demyx home." The nurse nodded.

"Go ahead, as long as it's okay with Demyx."

Zexion cleared his throat. "May I accompany them? I still feel a bit woosy, and Demyx and I share an apartment anyway." The nurse raised her eyebrows and nodded again.

"Be safe, especially you, Axel." She mock-glared at him. He had a… Driving reputation. As in he once accidentally drove a care through the middle school.

Axel laughed. "Yeah, yeah. I got it memorized." He picked up Roxas, bridal style. Roxas blushed and glared at Axel, who just smirked. "I'm assuming you guys can walk?"

They both nodded, looking surprised and yet not at all surprised at the same time. The four walked to the door. Once they were outside, Axel's smirk widened and he looked up at the blue sky. "Free at last!"

The group chuckled, even Zexion, who'd been quite unusually talkative today. Demyx stared at him happily, liking the sound of his soft laugh.

They entered Axel's giant red truck, Roxas sitting in front and the new pair sitting in back. Roxas thanked god that Axel decided he and Roxas should drive today, since they usually would walk to school. His head was throbbing, but it didn't hurt any more than a bad headache so he ignored it. He turned to Axel. "Do I look terrible? Am I gonna give my parents heart attacks?"

Axel nodded, smirking. "Most definitely. Wanna hang at my house til school's s'posed to be out? Then we can clean you up and have it look like it wasn't all that serious in the first place."

Roxas nodded gratefully. "Perfect, thanks."

Demyx cleared his throat. "Hey you two, can we leave now?" Axel rolled his eyes playfully and nodded. "Good." Demyx gave directions to the pair's house, which actually couldn't have been more than a couple of miles away from their neighborhood. When Axel mentioned this, Demyx sighed in relief.

"Great." He said, smiling. I won't be pulled into you guy's dreams, then, and you won't be pulled into ours. But if you really live that close, you guys should dream together."

Roxas' eyes widened. "Then you were… In that dream last night?"

Axel thought for a second, then groaned. "Awh crap. Sorry, Rox, you know I didn't mean to scare you or anything."

Roxas nodded. "Yeah, of course I know. You can't control your body any more than I can, right?"

Demyx and Zexion exchanged looks. Then Demyx cracked a grin. "That's what she said."

Roxas blushed and glared while the rest laughed.

*****

After dropping the pair off, with a promise to see them tomorrow, Axel and Roxas were headed back to Axel's.

"weird, huh?" Roxas broke the silence. "These new kids just come in and all of a sudden I know about all these dreams, and apparently they're memories, which is just impossible. It's really happening fast, ya know?"

Axel nodded, serious for once. "Yeah. You'd never been in one of those body-trapping dreams before until last night, so it was really strange. And the way you can't really feel all that much? That's the creepiest. At least, that's what happens in my dreams."

Roxas thought about what exactly he felt in his dreams, then blushed. "Yeah, it's mostly like that for me, too."

Axel let the silence take over for a few minutes, thinking. "We gotta tell each other about these dreams, Rox. Even if they're not with each other. I think it's important… somehow."

Roxas nodded. "Yeah, I kinda get that vibe too."

"And Roxas?"

Roxas turned to look at Axel, who'd just parked the car in his driveway. They weren't moving anymore. "Yeah?"

"Tell me, if…" He trailed off, running his hand through his hair. "This is gonna sound crazy, but what part of this crap isn't? Tell me if you find out what a Nobody is."

"Nobody?" Roxas asked.

"A Nobody. Like, a title. I've heard it, in my dreams." Axel explained. "Tell me if you find out, okay?" Roxas nodded.

"Okay. I'll promise to tell you everything about my dreams if you tell me about yours."

Axel nodded. "C'mon, Rox, let's getcha cleaned up. Jeez, I hope we can find a shirt that fits you."

Roxas looked down and blushed, realizing half of his shirt had been ripped off. "Right." They both got out of the car and walked toward the door, trying to forget the strange dreams.

_Nobodies… Nobodies… What does that mean?_ Roxas thought. Something inside him knew the answer, even if it didn't really make sense. _Who are the Nobodies?_

_Us._

*****

**AN: **Like it? I'm trying really REALLY hard to stick to the exact dialogue. No, xion will not be in this story XD I mean, she'll be mentioned but not important in any way, the way I like it. ACK! I FORGOT TO THANK MY REVIEWERS! I AM A SELFISH BITCH! Lol sooo….

**Thank youuuu:**

moonray9: Thanx!! Of course Axel had to come help :P

zchocolatebunniesrulezworld: Haha the hardest part of every story is the disclaimers :D And it shall DEFINITELY be yaoi-inducing. Thank u!

BlackCatHikari: Haha I hope you figured out wat to give up! :P Thanx and double thanx for double reviews!!! I'm sooo glad someone noticed my confusing effort to actually tie the next-life realistically ;P

The Pen Vs The Sword: I already messaged you but thank u soo much again!

BlackWolf99: I heart u lol thanx for reviewing wen the fic was just a twinkle in my eye XD

Bloodiemondei : OMG thank u! That's sooo nice!

mochiusagi: :D Thank you!

I cannot express enough how much I LOVE my reviewers. It makes me feel so validated as a writer :D THANK YOU!!!! *throws cookies to them*

Luv!

~Mae/Bree~


	5. Ch 4: 298 Days

**Description:** Axel and Roxas live next to each other, go to school together, and do nothing without each other. Roxas is just too stupid to figure out how Axel really felt. But when the new kids move in, and the pair start getting strange flashbacks, they'll find a strange bond with a few others in the school, and discover that they might have more of a connection then lifelong friendship…

**Pairings:** AkuRoku main, Namine-Marluxia, Sayner (Gotta love 'em!) Zemyx (well technically Dexion because Demy's the seme, but I like the name Zemyx better.)

**Warnings:** Language, Shonen-ai, non-emo!Roxas, YAOI. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. No flames please, though constructive criticism is always accepted.

**Disclaimer:** So. Um. Yeah… I own the GAMES… :) But I do not own the deliciousness that is AkuRoku D: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH **sobdies**

_**Chapter Four: 298 Days**_

"WHERE have you been?" His mother's shrill voice hurt Roxas' ears upon entering the house, making him flinch. Axel sucked in a breath and ineffectively hid behind Roxas, wary of his parents already.

"Mom…" Roxas sighed, preparing for the worst.

"You think that if my baby got into a FIGHT the school wouldn't CALL me?" Her voice rose in octaves, volume and concern all in one sweep. "I was so WORRIED!" She ran over and hugged Roxas, who was wearing a shirt of Axel's. Roxas didn't see it, but Axel sure caught the death glare she shot over Roxas' shoulder.

When she stopped hugging him, she put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. "Roxas, what's he doing here?"

Roxas scratched the back of his head nervously. "Well… I wanted to know if he could do homework with me, u know?" She gave Roxas a very disapproving look, as if that would be some kind of huge burden to her. Roxas thought quickly. "Reno just left. On a… er… a business trip. Can Axel stay over tonight? I don't want him to be alone."

His mom's expression melted into sympathy at the word 'alone'. Despite their vast differences, the two moms had been great friends once.

"Oh, alright. But you guys have to go to bed early, we have church tomorrow. Axel, feel free to come along if you want." She glanced again at Axel, a look of defeat forming in response to his stubborn expression. She'd been trying to force Axel into religion after his parents had died, but he'd refused every time. Roxas simply flinched at the idea of going to church on a Saturday. That was just wrong.

"Um, kay mom. We need to get started, so we'll be in my room. Call us when dinner's ready, thanks!" He gave a nervous smile, grabbing Axel and dragging him to Roxas' room. Axel just smirked, both amused and confused.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Axel turned to Roxas and gave him a look. "Reno's a bum, he never leaves the house." Axel's short eyebrows arched.

"We've gotta talk about this realistically," Roxas rolled his eyes. "And not in front of Reno or my parents."

"Yeah, yeah, gotcha." Axel crossed the room to Roxas' bed, plopping down and patting the bed sheet beside him. "C'mon, Roxas. Let's talk and crap."

Roxas sighed and sat down. "Why is this happening?"

"Well, Roxie, don't tell your mom but Reno's been researching recently about reincarnation. He knows his shit. We could talk to him if we wanna consider that."

Roxas bit his lip. "But even if that was true… that place has magic. Really weird stuff. It's almost like another world…" he trailed off, remembering.

"Maybe it is."

Roxas' head snapped up, not even sure if he heard Axel right.

"Like, if we're gonna throw magic in," Axel continued, "why not another world? Maybe several. I've seen a talking duck in one, Roxas. That's just ridiculous. But it seems too real to be just some really screwed up dreams. Just consider it, I guess."

"Alright Axel. You've lost it." Roxas smiled and shoved Axel lightly. Axel mock-glared and shoved him back, making the pair chuckle quietly.

The silence consumed them for a couple of minutes, Roxas staring into space and Axel staring at Roxas. Roxas sighed and leaned against Axel's shoulder slowly, making Axel tense up slightly.

"What's going on, Axel?" Roxas sighed again, falling back down on the bed.

Axel leaned back as well. "I dunno, Rox. I dunno. I can't figure it out, it's like we were… given some other life. I guess, maybe there was some other world where we couldn't… feel. Do you get that feeling? That there wasn't much there, like my heart was, I dunno, hallow."

Roxas, shocked, nodded in agreement. "I could feel some mock-emotion, but it didn't feel real. And also, i once had the thought that I didn't want to feel emotion, because I knew it wasn't real. That world, the dream world. It's confusing."

Axel looked over at him. "C'mere, Roxas." Axel sat up, pulled Roxas up and pulled him into a hug. Roxas sighed, comforted. Sometimes a hug from someone you really care about is all you need.

Roxas rolled over again, unable to sleep at all. Scared of what he'd see when he closed his eyes, knowing he couldn't even hide it from Axel if he tried. "A-Axel?"

Axel's head plopped up on the edge of the bed, "Sup Rox? It's late, man."

"Can you… uh… Sleep with me?" Roxas bit his lip hesitantly, then immediately blushed. "I mean- Like, up here. In my bed. Not… yeah." Roxas just stopped talking.

Axel chuckled. "Sure, Roxas." He climbed up and laid next to Roxas. Roxas relaxed and buried his hair in his best friend's chest. Axel draped an arm around him, pulling him closer slowly, hesitantly. Both were barely breathing, not knowing what was going on. Roxas slowly just let all of the thoughts leave his mind, and soon the room was filled with the rhythmic breathing of both teens.

_She pulled back her hood and turned around, looking up at Roxas with pleading eyes. She seemed like a dear in headlights, caught and with no where left to run. "Xion." Roxas said her name, walking towards her and continuing. "Where have you been? Axel and I have been looking all over for you."_

"_You have?" She asked in a raspy voice, on the verge of tears almost, but also shocked. "Sorry." She turned away from Roxas' gaze._

"_Let's go home," Roxas suggested. After long last, he finally found his friend. "If you come back voluntarily, Saix will let all this drop. He has to." A man with blue hair, an X scar and a grade-A scowl was the image his mind gathered at the name, 'Saix'. A few words like 'leader', 'boss', and 'second in command' also popped into Roxas' head._

_Xion turned her gaze to the ground, looking broken and hesitant._

"_I don't care what he said to you." Roxas pleaded, trying to convince his friend to come back. "I'll be there. Me and Axel will make sure-"_

_She stepped back, almost frightened. Roxas wondered what he'd said wrong, maybe Axel's name? He dabbled momentarily at the thought, hoping his two friends were getting along. She pulled her hand to her chest and shook her head quickly. "I really can't."_

"_Why not?" Roxas almost whined, reaching for Xion. "Come on!" He yelled, frustrated, and made a grab for her. She dodged it quickly, almost backing into the wall. Roxas sighed dejectedly. She made a quick run for it, but Roxas wouldn't give up that easily._

"_Wait!" He grabbed her wrist, keeping a tight grip on her this time. Determined to have her back. He heard the noise before he saw the keyblade she'd summoned. Shocked, he let go of her hand. She raised the keyblade to him, looking scared and ashamed._

_A chakram crashed into the keyblade from the side of the building, Axel protecting Roxas as always. Xion deflected it and it dissolved into fire, both people turning to see Axel strut elegantly down the stairs of the alley they'd been trapped in._

_He smirked, but it was hollow. "Well hello there… Xion."_

"_Axel?" Roxas stood, confused and somewhat angry. He could handle this on his own. Before he could even think straight, Xion charged at Axel, keyblade in hand. "No, wait!" He yelled out to her, not that it did any good._

_She slashed at Axel but he dodged quickly, summoning his chakrams and preparing for battle. Roxas stood there, mind racing, trying to come up with some way to stop this. Attacks were thrown and dodged, Roxas cringing on the side and wanting to help, to stop this, just not knowing how._

_Xion charged at Axel again dangerously, and fearing for his best friend's life, Roxas yelled, "Stop!"Xion hesitated and turned to him, only long enough for Axel to hit the pressure point in the back of her neck, knocking her out cold. He caught her on her way down, really emphasizing the height difference between the two._

"_Xion…" Roxas muttered, staring at his friend. He was full of hollow anger at them both, but mostly Axel. He scowled and ran to them both, but Axel just disappeared into his little black portal, taking Xion with him. Roxas stopped and glared at the spot where they had just been and whispered angrily, "Axel's gonna get it when I get back…"_

_The memory fades into a hallway in a grey room, grey steps, grey everywhere. Roxas caught up with Axel and grabbed his arm. "Axel."_

_He turned to face Roxas. "Oh, hey, Roxas."_

"_Where is she?" Roxas snapped angrily._

_Axel sighed. "Safe." He stated simply._

"_How could you do that to her?" Roxas demanded._

"_Do what?" Axel questioned lightly, feeling the tension rise._

"_You didn't have to use force…" Roxas sighed and looked at his friend pleadingly._

"_Didn't I?" He asked. "She was going to attack you, Roxas! I was trying to help you!"_

"_No way would she hurt me… We're supposed to be best friends!" Roxas exclaimed vainly._

"_This isn't about friendship," Axel muttered, running his hand through his hair. "If that's all, I gotta go."_

_Roxas glared. "If that's ALL? It's not all! Not by a long shot, Axel!"_

_Axel turned, finally losing his patience."What did you want me to do, Roxas? Watch her attack you?" He pushed Roxas against a wall and glared down at him. "I can't lose you, you hear me?"_

"_I could've handled myself, Axel! Why do you have to protect me from everything?" Roxas rose his voice angrily, close to yelling._

"_Because… Because…" The anger faded from Axel's eyes, searching for an answer within himself. "Be…cause…" He placed his lips gently over Roxas', shocking them both. Axel pulled back just barely, Roxas could still feel his breath on his lips. Axel pressed their foreheads together. "I don't know, Roxas. I just don't know." He straightened up and walked away, leaving Roxas confused and alone. His last thought? It took him 298 days… to realize he'd fallen in love. A Nobody. Impossible._

Roxas shot up, hitting his head yet again on his ceiling. He cursed silently and turned to his clock: 2:43. He sighed and slumped his shoulders, his mind racing a million miles an hour. _Axel. _He turned around to see his friend sitting on the edge of his bed, head buried in his hands. "…Axel?" Roxas whispered hesitantly.

"…Sorry." He muttered. "Can't really control myself in those things…"

"O-oh. No, there's nothing to be sorry about, I know." Roxas turned red just thinking about the dream, and the unmistakable feelings that had arisen in it. "Um… Should we… I dunno. Talk about it?"

Axel sighed and turned to him. "Fine, but turn on some goddamn lights first."

Roxas chuckled quietly and turned on his bed-side lamp, giving the room dim lighting.

"Well, Nobodies can't feel," Axel started, pulling his head out of his hands and running them through his hair nervously, refusing to meet Roxas' eyes. "I mean… They're not supposed to. Some could… Like you and Xion. You and Xion were special, but I can't, uh…" He deliberately turned away, which Roxas noted surprisingly. "I can't remember why."

"You're such a bad liar." Roxas chuckled bitterly, then collapsed back onto the bed. "Who's Xion? What do you know? C'mon, Ax. These are answers that you have, that I don't. Don't lie to me." He tried to level his voice, but some of his anger and concern came out with it.

"Xion was our friend, more yours than mine. You guys were very similar, and there was a reason for that… And I remembered a man with a deep voice, Xemnas, ordered me to bring Xion back. No matter what. He had silverish grey hair and dark tan skin, and he was our boss. He was number one… I was number eight. We were all part of-"

"Organization thirteen." Roxas interrupted, knowing he was right. "I was number thirteen, Xion was fourteen…" _Were there ever more than thirteen chairs?_ Xemnas' voice resonated within him. It was almost another memory. He felt a pang of sadness, but it was almost detached from his own emotions. He felt what Axel was telling him was true, Roxas was Xion's friend, but he didn't feel too emotionally attached to her.

"Right…" Axel replied. "Xion was running away, she was gone, and I brought her back."

"Well…" Roxas hesitated. "You could've been a little nicer about it."

"I'm not gonna repeat myself. She was going to attack you, I would've done the same thing, if I could've controlled myself. You're my best friend, Rox. I'll protect you."

"I don't NEED protecting." Roxas snapped, then immediately felt bad. They wouldn't look at each other. "… But thanks." He mumbled, adding the small motion of gratitude at the last second. Axel smirked and shifted slightly, then threw himself at Roxas with a goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Hmmmm, Roxie? What was that?" Axel pinned the smalled boy down and grinned deviously. "I didn't quite hear you over that other ungrateful asshole that appeared in your bedroom a second ago."

Roxas half glared, half laughed, eyes shining in the dim light. Axel's evil grin melted into a real half smile, his eyes throwing away the distant façade. His stone emeralds turned warm and liquid-like, welcoming… Roxas' smile faded, Axel's disappearing seconds later. He rolled off of the smaller boy, both remembering what the end of the memory contained.

The laid there in silence for too long.

Roxas didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until he woke up, and by then, Axel was already gone.

Roxas sat there in silence for a few minutes, looking at the place where he was sure Axel had been. Roxas couldn't decide if he was angry with Axel because he'd left, or because or the memory. Either way, he also couldn't decide if he wanted Axel back or not. He cursed himself, cursed Axel, cursed his parents, cursed everything he could think of cursing under his breath as he pulled on back skinny jeans and a thin, tight red tee. He glared at nothing and run his hands through his hair hopelessly before hopping downstairs, stopping breathlessly before his mom.

"Mom, hey." He breathed out, darting his head to each side quickly before returning to his moms face. "Where did-"

"Axel left a bit ago, saying something about getting something from his house." The older woman snipped, a distasteful expression dominating her face despite effort to keep cool. Roxas nodded, still bothered by the expression his parents both wore when discussing the pyromaniac. He grabbed a piece of toast set out for him and went for the door, but was stopped by the high, snippy voice once again. "You think you're going to church, looking like that? I don't think so. Go back upstairs and change."

Roxas sighed and went back up the stairs.

The weekend passed uneventfully, nothing much going on other than church. When Monday approached, no one was in a worse mood than Roxas. He and Axel hadn't talked all weekend, nor dreamed together. When he sped past his mom that morning, she glanced at his earliness and haste in confusion.

"You're down so early? Would you like some breakfast?" She asked.

"No thanks, gotta get to school to talk to one of my teachers." Roxas replied.

"Oh, what for?"

"Just some project," He lied. "I think I might need to add something." He was all but out the door when she stopped him again.

"Wait, aren't you going to wait for Axel?" She asked, voice laced with concern and something less recognizable, something unpleasant.

"No." He replied simply, pulling the door shut with more force than necessary. "He didn't wait for me." He muttered sadly.

Roxas jumped as the final bell rang, jolted out of his daydreaming. Hayner turned to him curiously as he stood up, waiting for Roxas to get everything together.

"Dude, you've been so spacey today. What's going on?" He asked, elbowing Roxas' side as they approached the main door, waves of teens pushing towards it. No one wanted to be at school on a Monday. The two blondes were smooshed out the doors, elbowing through the masses to a small patch of grass and trees beside the sidewalk. Hayner turned to Roxas, expecting an answer.

Roxas sighed. "I've just been really tired and distracted, sorry dude." Roxas bit his lip, debating continuing before adding, "Me and Axel had a fight, I guess."

Hayner nodded, understanding. "Oh, okay. Sorry." He replied. It was awkward for a few seconds. Then he blurted, "Wanna come over? You need to stop acting like a distant asshole." Hayner smirked.

Roxas elbowed him. "Shut up. I'll race you there, bastard!" He grinned.

"Hope you enjoy a view of my ASS the whole time, Hikari!" Hayner smirked back cockily. Roxas got ready to take off when a hand fell on his shoulder. He jumped and turned, facing his red haired best friend. His expression was solemn and cold, which Roxas matched immediately. The two blondes glanced at each other, and Hayner sighed and gave him a nod as if to say, 'go on, I'll wait.' Roxas nodded back and followed Axel's lead.

They moved out of earshot, towards the side of the school. Axel turned to Roxas and looked expectantly. Roxas glared up at him.

"… Okay, um, let's talk." Axel started.

"Fine. Talk." Roxas snapped.

"Why weren't you there this morning?" Axel asked, letting a bit of the mask slip to show a smidge of hurt.

"Why did you leave? Without saying anything? Why did you ignore me?" Roxas shot back, rapid fire.

"Why didn't you try? Why didn't you even try to talk to me?" Axel rose his voice.

"Why did you KISS me?" It flew out of Roxas' mouth like a cannonball out of a lit cannon, and after the explosion there was just silence.

"I didn't." Axel muttered.

"You did." Roxas whispered, almost to himself. "But it's not you. And that wasn't me. Those people aren't us, Axel."

"Well, they…" Axel tried.

"We can't control ourselves. I don't fucking CARE if they're memories or not, it's not me!" Roxas snapped. He couldn't stop speaking, he just had to... "I'm NOT GAY, okay? I'm not!"

Roxas stormed away, leaving Axel alone to nurse his own wounded heart.

**AN:** I'm cruel, yeah sorry. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER I SWEAR!

**Roxas: **I hate that dirty bastard, how dare he…

**Mae:** YOU LIIIIIKED IT, YOU LIIIIIIKED IT

**Roxas:** SHUT UP I DID NOT **blushes**

Review and I'll love you forever :D

~MaePetals~


	6. Ch 5: Fear and Love

**Description:** Axel and Roxas live next to each other, go to school together, and do nothing without each other. Roxas is just too stupid to figure out how Axel really felt. But when the new kids move in, and the pair start getting strange flashbacks, they'll find a strange bond with a few others in the school, and discover that they might have more of a connection then lifelong friendship…

**Pairings:** AkuRoku main, Namine-Marluxia, Sayner (Gotta love 'em!) Zemyx

**Warnings:** Language, Shonen-ai, non-emo!Roxas, YAOI. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. No flames please, though constructive criticism is always accepted.

**Disclaimer:** I own you. So get in my bed. Imeanwut I own nothing D:

_**Chapter 5: Fear and Love**_

"I'm such an ass." Roxas muttered. Hayner pounded the controller for a few more seconds before pausing and turning to his friend.

"Um, what? Why?" He asked, confused.

The small teen sighed. "I just… Said a ton of shit to Axel. I was really stupid and mean and… yeah. It was bad."

Hayner snorted. "That dude loves you, I doubt you could say much to change that."

"Well…" Roxas bit his lip. "That's sorta what I said."

"What, that he loves you?" Hayner joked. When the silence stretched on, however, Hayner's expression became more serious. "Seriously? What'd he say?"

"Well, I didn't really say it like that… It's complicated. But I yelled at him for something that totally wasn't his fault and it was just awkward and he thinks I'm gay and I'm not, my parents would murder me and throw my body in the river to float down until police eventually pluck it out when I'm already decomposing and—"

"OH MY GOD, ROXAS." Hayner yelled. "Shut up and BREATHE." Roxas cut off and gave his friend a pleading look.

"What do I do?" He asked. "I have to fix it! I can't lose Axel, he's… he's my…" Hayner snorted and held back a laugh as Roxas stumbled over the words. "What? What's so funny?"

"I guess you really haven't picked up on it."

Roxas furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance. "What?"

"You're queer for that redheaded jackass."

Hayner felt a sharp sting on his cheek and darted back. Roxas glared. "W-what the hell, man?" Hayner stammered. "Did you seriously just slap me?"

They sat in tense, stunned, angry silence together until Roxas couldn't control it anymore; he burst into hysterical laughter. Hayner joined in quickly, only lowering the volume of his cackles to catch Roxas gasp out "I guess I did, god I must be queer".

When the chuckles died down, Roxas sighed. "Maybe… Maybe I am. I guess I was kinda trying to ignore it, since… you know, my parents—"

"—are God-pushing hate-spreading Christian assholes?" Roxas let out a short laugh, knowing that was very much a part of his parents' personalities.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Well, you'd better get your ass outa my house, then." Hayner replied nonchalantly. Roxas' big blue eyes grew even wider in shock. Hayner caught the hurt expression and quickly backtracked. "To go talk to Axel, you idiot!"

"Oh… right." Roxas grinned sheepishly, getting up. "I woulda kicked your ass in melee anyway."

"Oh, so NOW the smack talk comes out!" Hayner rolled his eyes and smirked. "You know I beat you every time. But don't worry your queer little ass off, I'll set up a rematch soon." He flashed Roxas his stereotypical competitive grin. Roxas simply laughed and kicked the bean-bag chair he'd been comfortably resting in out of his path.

"Hey, Roxas?" Hayner called. Roxas stopped, halfway up the cement stairs that led away from Hayner's room-slash-basement.

"Yeah?"

Hayner appeared at the foot of the steps. "You know I'm okay with it, right? I mean, I joke about that stuff, but I don't care."

Roxas grinned. "Yeah, I know. Don't go all gooey on me, ya fag." He added jokingly.

Hayner grinned. "Look who's talking," he replied with a laugh as the door at the top of the steps swung open, then closed.

"What'd you do to that kid, yo?" Reno chewed on a toothpick, leaning across the doorway in such a way that prevented Roxas from just running inside and finding Axel. His messy red hair was pulled back by a pathetically small pony tail and large glasses resting atop his head. "I haven't seen him this angsty since… well… ever."

"Shaddup, Reno. Just lemme in." Roxas growled.

"Didja reject him? Doesn't seem like it, since you're here, obviously trying to get in my house and jump my baby brother." The older man smirked.

Roxas blushed. "Um, well, sort of. But I didn't mean it. How did you—?"

"He's my brother." Reno jumped in. "I just know things."

"Uh huh." Roxas put on a pouty expression. "So can you let me in?"

"I dunnooo…" Reno hesitated, grinning. "I guess I can, on the pretense that you're not gonna take a few more digs at him. He's pretty cut up, cupcake."

"I know, I know, I'm an ass!" Roxas growled, taking an opportunity of imbalance to shove the redhead out of his stance. "Thanks, Reno. Always so cooperative." He snorted, stepping over a cursing Reno and running up the stairs.

"Axel!" He called loudly.

"Wadaya need, Roxas." Axel deadpanned from the other side of his bedroom door. Roxas hesitated at his tone.

"Can I… Come in?" He asked.

He heard a grunt. When the door opened, Axel's expression was stone cold; it made Roxas shudder discreetly. "What?" Roxas made a small gesture and Axel moved to the side, letting him in.

Roxas froze. Every word that had gone through his mind before this second was wiped from his mind. "Um… I…" He sighed and plopped down on his best friends' bed.

"You don't have to say it; I know." Axel offered, tone still stoic.

"What do you mean?" Roxas asked suspiciously. _How would he…_

"We're just not gonna hang out anymore. It's fine. I get it."

"What? Axel, that's _not—_"

"Don't lie." He cut in sharply.

"I'm not!" Roxas yelled indignantly.

"Come to collect your shit, right? Well I want all my CDs—"

"Axel, SHUT. UP." Roxas glared.

"Well that's what you want, isn't it? You're—you're disgusted by whatever happened, even though it didn't ACTUALLY happen between us but that was enough for you to be…" Axel trailed off, sighing.

"That's not it, at all. I came to say I'm sorry before you went off on your rant, you douche-bag." Roxas rolled his eyes, glaring up at Axel's newly shocked expression.

"What are you—"

"Just shut up, idiot." Roxas stood up, eyes still only level with his chest.

"I…" Axel stuttered, confused.

"Didn't I tell you…" Roxas stepped closer, making his intentions clear, "…to shut up?"

Roxas stood on his tiptoes and, before either could fully comprehend what was going on, the blonde planted a kiss on the redheads' unsuspecting lips. It was short—too short—and when Roxas fell back to normal height again with wide eyes, all Axel could really do was stare. Roxas bit his lip as they stared in silence, terrified. He was about to leave when the taller man finally broke from his reverie and stopped him.

"Roxas…" Axels muttered, expression melting into one of soft affection. His hands wrapped around the smaller teens' chin. His back hunched hesitantly as he pulled Roxas close, making cautious eye contact before touching his lips to the boys. Roxas pulled the redhead closer immediately; arms locking loosely around his neck.

Their lips locked innocently for what seemed like eternity, growing more and more passionate with each second. Axel ran his tongue along Roxas' bottom lip, causing the young boy to moan softly and grant entrance. Their tongues battled while the men pulled and clawed at each other, close never quite reaching close _enough_ for either. Roxas messed with the hem of Axels' tight shirt hesitantly, trying to battle desire with reason and losing quickly, until—

"Nice one, bro!" Reno yelled from the doorway. The men broke apart violently, watching Reno's smirk grow wider than either had even thought possible.

"You're such a bastard," Axel replied casually, trying to appear calmer than he was. Roxas was only concerned with controlling his irregular panting at that point.

Reno waltzed over and ruffled Axels hair with a grin. "But I'm _your_ bastard, ain't that right little bro?"

Axel pushed the man off with an eye roll. "Get the fuck out, you ass." The redheaded brother took his leave with a smile, muttering something along the lines of _"but I'm yoouurr ass!"_ as the door shut behind him. Axel turned back to the small blonde with a sheepish grin. "Sorry."

They spent most of the night talking, kissing and cuddling in Axels large bed, an experience that was easily pure bliss for both of them. But as day turned to dusk turned to night, Roxas sighed and turned over his phone in his calloused hands.

"My parents think I'm still at Hayner's…" he muttered, frowning. Axel picked up on the fear quickly at the mention of Roxas' parents. He wrapped his arms around the blonde and pulled him back into the soft sheets, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"It'll be fine, Roxas. Don't worry." Axel murmured, lips still brushing Roxas' skin.

"I… Axel, I'm fine with telling whoever at school, but… I mean… my parents would probably kill—"

Axel shushed him, cutting him off. "You don't have to explain it to me; I've known you—and your parents—for forever. We don't have to tell them, I don't want to put you in that position." Roxas smiled sadly, running a hand across Axels chest.

"Thanks." His smile morphed from genuine, albeit hinting pain and fear, to a more devious grin. He played with the phone he was still holding, eyes alit mischievously. "I don't think my parents would mind if I spent the night with… _Hayner_… do you?"

Axel matched his grin and rolled on top of the blonde, pinning him down with a smirk. "Or maybe the weekend?"

**AN:** Soooo short compared to my normal chapters, sorry ))): but at least I updated!

**Roxas- **You give us one happy chapter, awesome. Let me guess, next update will be filled with pain and death?

**Mae- **Well… the school's gonna find out…

**Axel-** *sigh* uh huh. You cruel little bitch.

**Mae-** D':

Review as always, I'll give you cookies! And bubbles! FILLED WITH KITTENS!


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